Gifts for the Goddess – Dad

As Father’s day came around again, last week I find I want to write about that days subject -  Dad’s.

 We all have one. When we are little, they seem to be larger than life. This can be positive or negative, depending on your Dad, of course.  As a girl, you know and trust that Dad will protect and provide for you.  I can only assume it is the same for boys.

We get a lot from our parents.  How relationships work, how they don’t.  How to trust or not trust, how to love, how to hate.  Being a parent is a hugh responsibility.  Some people are meant to be parents, some not.  No matter which type of parent you think you are or will become, know that you have a great impact on the little ones that depend on you every day. 

My Dad was very dedicated to us when we were young.  He worked 2 jobs and my mother was able to stay at home, which was a great thing.  When we four kids grew older, around 10-15, he took a job with the post office which is where he retired.  We always took great vacations – camping, boating, going to other states and national parks. It was a blast and those are times I will always cherish.

My dad was also “the enforcer.”  You know that line, “wait till your father gets home,” well we heard it a lot.  Or maybe it was just something us kids understood without the actual words being said.  We knew if we were giving mom grief or we were fighting a little too much, that we would be in trouble when Dad got home, so we were basically “scared” into being good kids.  I guess that’s the point, right?

Around my 7^th or 8^th grade year my Father changed. Maybe it was the fact that my two older brothers were at those difficult teenage years.  Maybe it was because his own memories of this teenage years came back to him (Whatever that was) and he couldn’t disconnect from the anger, hurt , guilt or abuse from his own past.  I don’t know.  Towards me he became more controlling and became physically abusive.  Towards my brothers he just became mean and we all suffered his psychological abuse.  No matter the reason, It happened and it is a part of my past and who I am. It always will be.  But the past is the past, and it is imprtant to understand and that.

As you grow older, the larger than life persona that was Dad fades away as we come to realize he is just  a man, just a human being like everyone else.  He has his faults, flaws, hang-ups…just like the rest of us.  There comes a time in every adult’s life where we can either blame our parents for the way our lives turned out, or we can forgive and move on to the reach the other side…to individuality, strength, self-worth and love.  It’s a much better road, I assure you.

I forgave my Dad along time ago.  He sits in a Alzheimer’s home currently.  He has forgotten the life of abuse he inflicted. It’s convenient I guess.  His guilt is also forgotten and he spends his time in “no time” with “no body.”  He lost his entire family due to his inability to search his soul, face himself and his demons and do what is right with the responsibility of raising a family. 

I used to be sad on Father’s Day.  But now, I just remember the good man, the man I knew he was before whatever latched onto him that took him to dark places that he did not have the strength to battle.  Before he lost site of Love and of himself.

I forgive you Dad.  I love the man you once were…..and I miss him.I hope you find peace, I know I have.

So as Father’s day passes again, remember your Dad.   The good, the bad, the struggles, the joys…and bless the man that helped create the wonderful, strong, beautiful person that is YOU.

Love and Light always my friends,

Veronica Crystal Young -   40s Goddess 

www.tvartscapes.com        www.crystaleyesinc.com

Gifts for the Goddess – Live Your Best Life

So this week I really hit a wall.   Working so many hours and neglecting my creative side and time with friends and family really has been taking its toll.  I had to re-evaluate what is important in my life (Yet again) and what it will take to actually, as Oprah says “Live my Best Life.” 

I had to ask myself, what is killing myself at work doing for me?  What gratification do I get out of it?  There must be some reason.  And then the worst thought crossed my mind.  Is it because Crystal Eyes Entertainment and the DVD business was feeling a little success and I got scared?  You know the whole, “afraid of success” mentality.  I never really understood that concept but maybe I am sabotaging my creative success for the stable life the hospital affords?  That makes me even more frustrated than I already am! 

So what does being a workaholic mean? Is it for the feeling of accomplishment I feel when things get done correctly? The satisfaction I feel when heading up a big project and seeing it become a success? Is it the feeling that I make a difference? Is it for the recognition of a job well done?  Is it because any less than perfect would not be acceptable? Yes, I think all those things, at least for me.  Ask yourself this hard question if you have the workaholic syndrome too. Sometimes you can be surprised at the answers.

 So what do I need to do to avoid the “Comfort” eating, the “Couch Potato” syndrome after working for 12 hours at the Hospital?  What do I need to do to get my energy back, have more time to spend with Friends and Family, work on my creative projects, have time and money to travel to great places and still make time to find that special man?   All these things will make up my formula for “Living My Best life.”  Commitment and determination will be the key to my success.  Oh, and that trip to Cabo and Hawaii later this year will help with the motivation, don’t you know! 

 So what is YOUR Formula for Living Your Best Life?  What can you commit to this week to ensure you are living it?

 Just do it. No excuses. Half the year is over.  What are you waiting for? 

Love and Light, my friends,

40s Goddess

Veronica Crystal Young      www.tvartscapes.com             www.crystaleyesinc.com

Gifts for the Goddess – Stress

Well I have recently come into my fair share of stress!   Having been assigned a major task at my “day Job” which is turning into a night and weekend job lately as well, I have needed to re-evaluate my priorities and my own time as it relates to my production company (Crystal Eyes Entertainment LLC).  I have reached this cross road several times before because it seems just when things get rolling on the production and entertainment side of my businesses, the “day job” comes a calling.  It’s ok, I guess. I do like what I do, but the frustration sets in because I want to work on finishing a project, or calling those potential buyers and distributors, but can’t seem to find the time since I’ve been working 50 hours a week at the Hospital. 

 

This weekend I travel to the NAB conference to see the newest technology and new media.  This is always an exciting time to see what trends are hitting the new media market and what new cameras or formats they have cooked up for us.  I decided to go a day early to clear my head, make my priority lists for my businesses since time is so limited now. (Remember, I’m a list person!)  Let’s face it, after a 10-12 hour day at the hospital, it is really hard to go to my production office and work so I really need to focus on alleviating the stress.

 

While I was there, I had the good fortune to stay with a friend of mine who has a gorgeous backyard. In the morning, I was sitting in front of a beautiful waterfall and listening to the birds sing their airy sonnet. Nature in the morning never seems to have a care in the world. I focused on the water falling down the slated rock, finding its way effortlessly around the rocks, always reaching its goal of joining the pool below.  I became mesmerized, as it seemed to speak a few words of wisdom to me.

 

Keep focused on the task at hand.  As the water finds its way down the mountain of rock, it always knows its final destination, and will go over, under or around any obstacle in its way.

 

Allow yourself a rest, pace yourself.  Water can be very methodical.  It has a goal, to get down the mountain, and it always arrives in its own time. 

 

Don’t get caught up with pressure from the crowd. There were times that I saw water droplets pool to a far corner, hang out there for awhile, only to be swept away again when more water fell in the area, pushing the entire pool to the next level.  Maybe it wasn’t ready?  But the pressure of the group forced those droplets to continue.  Sometimes it’s a good thing to be forced to make progress, but sometimes it can be a lot of unnecessary drama…. too much, too fast.

 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.   One drop alone could never make it through that maze of rock and sand, but when many drops become a river of power, with one purpose, there is no stopping it from reaching its goal.

 

You are not alone.  Again, one drop wouldn’t reach the goal. Remember that if you are stressed out, others are probably too so don’t take anything personally. Try to disconnect from what I call “personality” bumps.  And always look at what it is about that person that creates these personality collisions.  It is usually a trait we personally have and have to work on ourselves….and it’s sometimes hard to admit it, let alone see it.

 

Through nature’s example, I decided to try harder to take care of myself, help stave off the recent stress that has so permeated my life the last 6 weeks, and keep a positive attitude.

 

So my friends, I return to another hectic week renewed and recharged…. Renewed with a higher purpose and recharged attitude, determined to keep stress at bay. Yes, it will be another difficult week, but I will keep my thoughts of the power and purpose of water at hand, work within the flow, and keep focused.  And instead of ending my stressful day with the harsh news of the world, I’ll pop in my TV ArtScapes® HawaiiScapes or WaterScapes DVD to revisit nature’s water right in my living room, reminding me to take a breath…..relax, recharge and renew.  I love that!!!

 

Love and light my friends,

 

40s Goddess

Veronica Crystal Young

www.tvartscapes.com

Gifts for the Goddess – Expectations

Such a big word that holds so much meaning.  Happy, sad, miserable, or ecstatic.  Our emotions and moods can run the gamut, depending on what our expectations are in any given situation. 

 

Just look at the “real” reason you are upset or happy in any given situation.  Are you feeling badly about yourself or a situation? That usually comes down to an expectation not realized, either with yourself or with someone else.  If you are ecstatic, was your expectation much less then the reality of the situation?   

 

Painful as it may be, when I dig deep to look at certain choices that I’ve made, it’s my own expectations that have hurt me.  Was my expectation too high? Was the reality of achieving the goal to crazy or impossible?  Was it that I had set up a meeting, call, or trip and my expectations fell short of the reality?  Did someone follow-thru with what I thought would happen or totally floor me with the opposite response, good or bad?  Remember the “good and “bad” is just your perception.  That’s a whole other topic!

 

I guess the most important thing to remember is that we have the control to choose our expectations. Just like it is in our control to deal with our perceived negative repercussions of expectations not realized.  We can either, except responsibility for our actions and for having X expectations about the circumstances; or we can blame outcomes on someone or something else which is really, I think, a cop-out. 

 

My question is…..Why would you want to act like a victim?  Like something was done to you? How disempowering is that? Granted, there are times when you don’t have any control over a situation but it’s all in your handling, your reaction to the outcome where the “gold” of who you are really is. Because, let’s face it, how we show up in the world, our actions, our non-actions……are all reflections of who we really are.  It’s our choice to show up and handle things in which ever way is our true self.

 

And one more thing….I feel we must find the capacity for forgiveness, forgiveness for others, as well as ourselves.  That’s a big one.  If you feel you made a mistake, if you were hurt by someone or you hurt someone and you continually beat yourself up for it, what good could possibly come from that?  Life is too short….GET OVER IT! 

 

So I guess the best thing to have is no expectations at all.  This is difficult to say the least.  If we are not attached to an outcome and just allow the “flow of life” to happen……we could be pleasantly surprised.  Besides, most expectations are based on past experience and we all know that old adage “the past does not equal the future…..”  Except when it does.  (Did I actually say that after all this?)  Ok, I need to let it go and get over it!

 

Blessings and Happy Wishes for the Coming Year!

 

40s Goddess    Veronica Crystal Young   

www.tvartscapes.com    www.crystaleyesinc.com 

Gifts for the Goddess – Christmas

Christmas – It’s all about ME

Well. It’s here again. That time of year that we all light roaring fires in the fireplace, trim the tree, light the candles, and spend time with loved ones. It’s a time for sharing and big family meals, for candy boxes and gifts. Even though it’s one of my favorite times of year, this year doesn’t feel like Christmas at all.

Maybe it’s the economy? Maybe it’s the fact that my mother moved to another state this past month? Maybe it’s the fact that I don’t have a special someone to share it with? Not that I didn’t try! This time of year is especially hard for people who are by themselves. There is nowhere you can hide without being bombarded with family and friend commercials and TV programming that is geared to tug at your heart strings…… and let’s not even get started on how the stores start pushing Christmas even before Thanksgiving! So this year, I’m choosing to look at it from a different perspective. Christmas this year, can be all about ME!

Yes, that’s right. ME. What I want, who I want to see, where I want to go or not go…ME. Yes, I called my mom and brothers in the morning to hear all about the baby doll Lydia got or the train set Josiah is playing with, but after that…it was all about me. And, yes, it was hard.

Usually when I’m home, I have a tendency to work. Having your own business does that to you. I certainly have several projects to produce and edit like the South Orange County Outreach PSA, the Ovation Awards 2008 winner interviews, the Scuba Show vendor promos and TV ArtScapes® ForestScapes DVD. (OK, maybe I should rethink this Me day?!) No, Christmas day, I took a break. Really! I lighted that fireplace (I love that), sipped some champagne to toast the past year and all my accomplishments, burned some sage to cleanse any bad energy that was lingering around the house, and then…I went to The Peninsula for Brunch with my good friends Bob and Pat. Wow, was that Great! Great company and great food. THEN….the next morning at 5:30AM it was up and out to go skiing! That’s right, I took to the slopes and I brought my high definition camera to shoot some snow scenes! It’s all about ME, remember!!!!

Ok, so shooting is technically my work, but you have to realize that I am happiest when I’m experiencing and shooting nature and the great outdoors. The oneness you feel when you are out there, the magnificence of the beauty and the awe of it all. It’s pretty cool. And I get to capture it all so not only I can enjoy it forever, but others can too! What a great thing! And maybe, just maybe when I get there….. amongst all that snow, the great little cottage with the fireplace and view, it will finally feel like Christmas! One can only hope……

So, my friends, this Holiday Season,
I wish you Love, Light and Blessings!
May you have all that you need, May you be with those you love,
and most important….may you be at PEACE.

40s Goddess    -Veronica Crystal Young   

www.tvartscapes.com          www.crystaleyesinc.com 

Gifts for the Goddess – Sedona Thanksgiving Adventure

 

This Thanksgiving since all family has moved quite far and it is a time for family, I decided to go to Sedona, Arizona to get out of the city and recharge, renew and nurture myself.   I had been there several times in past years when I consulted out that way and I was missing the beauty of the red rocks and the serenity and calm experienced when visiting there.  I was looking forward to capturing it for my next volume of relaxation, ambient DVDs “TV ArtScapes” so off I went for five days of serenity, reflection and beauty.

 

I arrived early Thanksgiving morning and it was a bit overcast.  I didn’t care thou because I love to drive and Sedona is about 2 hours outside of Phoenix. So I packed up the rental car, placed my CDs on the seat next to me and set forth for some serenity and calm!!

 

It was a great drive.  When I rounded the bend the Hwy that allows for that first great first view of Sedona, I was very glad it was a bit overcast.  The grey and white clouds were hanging on the tops of the Red Rock formations and it was a mysterious and interesting site.  I grabbed the camera at the first turnout and began to shoot. There were a few people enjoying the view as well but most at this time I supposed were gathering with family and friends to give thanks and share a day of thanks, love and appreciation for each other.  I missed that, but I said a quick thank you for being able to enjoy God’s beauty….then it was off to the hotel.  It was 1:00PM. 

 

After getting settled at the Hyatt at Penion Point, I was anxious to get to Cathedral Rock at Red Rock Crossing.  I could get in a ½ day of shooting today and It had been about 6 years since I saw Oak Creek and had captured that great view of the creek and Cathedral Rock in the background for the WaterScapes DVD.  I found myself stopping along Upper Loop Road several times to capture the Valley and it’s magnificent mini Grand Canyon like look, but when I reached Red Rock Crossing at Oak Creek….it was the best. 

 

The Trees had changed and there were bright yellow, gold and orange leaves to make up a picture postcard scene.  The clouds were still looming but the light was just right for some magnificent shots.   I stopped to capture a part of the creek that was slow and ran thru the trees with multicolored leaves filling the forest floor.  It was magical. 

 

I reached the place were all the famous shots in Sedona seem to be taken.   The creek was full and the water rushed over the flat red rock, caressing every curve and moving on it’s way as if to navigate hardship but ultimately move on to it’s final destination.  It was like all insecurity, sadness, loneliness….whatever feeling I had that needed some love or healing was being washed away, and what was left was magnificence, appreciation and an enormous love that was undeniable.  Overwhelming to say the least. What a powerful place.  This is actually one of the vortexes here in Sedona and this is why.  Clarity, Peace and Vision can be found here.  It was just as I had remembered. 

 

As the camera rolled, there was a mighty gust of wind that shook the golden leaves from the trees, allowing them to gently floated right in front of the camera…it was fantastic!  But it didn’t stop there!   It started to rain a bit and the clouds became much darker.  I had just arranged another closer shot with the camera, hoping to get some rain footage and as I came up, large hail stones began to hit me, the camera and fall to the earth like great stones! It was like God was skiping stones in heaven as the hail dropped into the creek creating large splashes.   How awesome!  I tried to pull the camera shot back to get as much of the scene as possible.  I hope when I go to edit, I have enough to place this hailstorm on the TV ArtScapesÒ DVD because it was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced. 

 

I packed up the Camera as the hail turned to a full out rainstorm.  Hardly anyone was left at Red Rock Crossing when the rain started.  As I stepped on the wet rocks to retreat to the trail, I slipped and found myself on my back, sliding towards the rushing water.  “God please don’t let me lose the Camera,” I thought! I cracked my head on the rocks and I saw stars for a moment, but I seemed to be OK save the fist large knot beginning to form on the back of my head.  Can you say Klingon?  Since I was alone I thought I’d better stop at the urgent care I had seen on the way up to make sure I hadn’t cracked my skull or damaged any thing important, say my brain!!!.  It sure sounded like I had when it happened! Being alone when you have an accident is a pretty scary thing.  The doctor gave me assurance that I was ok and told me if I had any neurological issues, nausea or vision changes to come back.  I was glad.  I hopped in the car, still drenched and my butt and back dirty from the fall.  It was back to the hotel, directly to the spa tub in my room. What a great tub…my body appreciated the jets as I was starting to feel a bit sore from the fall.

 

As I laid there soaking and resting, I thanked God for a magnificent adventure.   And that wasn’t the best part.  I still had four more days to experience, shoot and enjoy the serenity that is Sedona.   I can’t wait to edit this footage and share it with the world.

Love, Peace and Serenity to all!  Happy Thanksgiving.

Veronica Crystal Young   -40s Goddess

http://www.tvartsapes.com    http://www.crystaleyesinc.com

 

 

Gifts for the Goddess – Connection

Connected.  That is such a great word.  We can feel such connection….. to things, to a favorite song, to a place, to a type of food, to nature…..and most fulfilling of all to people. 

 

As I visited Hawaii last week, with its’ great sunsets, magnificent coastlines and majestic waterfalls, I couldn’t help but feel connection.  Yes, I was alone… but there was proof of a bigger feeling than alone, a grander reality, a truth about feeling a part of something.  As I took that Road to Hana at 4:30AM in the morning and experienced that lovely drive for 4 hours to the distant, not so commercial side of the island, I was overwhelmed at times at the peace, inspiration and security I felt…with no one around for miles or hours for that matter.  The beauty of the scenery, the rhythm of the ocean and the power of the waterfalls is just stunning. You can’t help but reflect on that supreme, loving energy that created all things.  And you can’t help but feel a big part of our enormous community called Earth, and all the plants and animals that live here.  

 

When I’m feeling depressed or lonely, I have a tendency to head straight for the beach or the mountains to help pull me back to that bigger connection and that sense of “we are not alone.” That is if I can.  During the week it can be difficult with juggling work, family, responsibility…..life really.  But I’ve found that taking short trips or weekend jaunts is the best medicine.  And if I can’t get away, I pop in a TV ArtScapes DVD with that awesome footage and I feel like I’m back in nature again, experiencing all it’s wonder and inspiration. 

 

We all want connection.  We all crave to belong.  Nature has a way of inspiring that connection, that feeling of belonging and wonder, that love that is the universal truth in our creation and existence.  At least it does for me.   

 

So Experience Nature, feel the connection to Love, Beauty and your God.  Feel the sense of belonging.  It’s for you everyday…… it’s for all of us.  And for goodness sakes, Let’s make sure we protect it.

 

I wish Love, Light and Connection for you all!  Peace…

40sGoddess    Veronica Crystal Young 

TV ArtScapes.com     -  Crystal Eyes Entertainment         

Gifts for the Goddess – Asking for Help

I don’t know about you but asking for help has always been hard.  As my production company and DVD business grows, more things need to get done and my time is filled with menial and administrative tasks as well as the creative work which I love.  So, I decide it was time to break down and hire an assistant.  What a big step! 

 

 Then I said to myself, “what am I doing?”  In this economy today, with it’s failing banks, DOW falling over 700 points yesterday and congress seeming to take their sweet time about passing any plan for assistance, it is not the greatest time to be hiring an assistant! Especially when my main product is not a staple on any families’ must have list, although I aim to change that in time.  Families can take a vacation in their own Living Rooms, not to mention experiencing that romantic sunset at the Beach in Carmel or the Beach in Maui, Hawaii with the TV ArtScapes DVD series….but I digress.

 

 OK, I always do this.  I do something that I think I “should do” for my business and then the gremlins start…the “Fred in my Head” (Yes, I have named him); that voice that second guesses and always tries to discourage my efforts as not the right time; I don’t have enough of this or that, I can’t do it, I need more ….blah, blah, blah!   I’m really sick of this particular man in my life!  Sound familiar?  So this is what I do.

 

 I thank him very much for sharing, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason and in it’s own time.  I TRUST (Boy that’s a big one) that my thoughts and actions about hiring someone are the next step in my business’s evolution and…… I make another list!  Yes, I’m a list person.  I make a list of all the things my assistant can do for me so that I can be free to do the things I love and the things that absolutely require ME.  You would be surprised how many items are on this list.  

 

 So with the extra help together with some creative marketing and follow-up, I am confident I made the right choice.  It’s just that until you actually “see and feel” the benefit, i.e. monetarily, that “Fred” voice is just going to be there, nagging away at your decisions.  It all comes down to Faith.  FAITH that you are on the right path, with the right people……and TRUST yourself and your decisions. We women need to do this more often!

 

Until next time,

Live with Passion, Love and Light,

……..And let Nature’s Beauty and Majesty inspire you!

VCYoung  – Veronica Crystal Young

www.tvartscapes.com    www.crystaleyesentertainment.com

Gifts for the Goddess – Mom

Moms – So much to teach us….. and we have much to teach them.   As I fly up to be with mom for a few days, I have time to reflect on how we have communicated, loved, fought, learned and grew.   She has contributed to my personality, my fears, my dreams, and my values.  I would like to think I have influenced hers.

 

Growing up in her full-time love, devotion and caretaking was a luxury I feel most children and families these days do not enjoy.   Most families have working parents and I feel very fortunate to have had a full-time parent able to stay at home.   Not that there weren’t things she could have done differently…. meaning better, in my humble “non-parenting” opinion.  Hey, I can have an opinion on my own life!  But believe me, I don’t know how she did it!  

 

Four small children by the time she was 25 and in a strange new county where she was leaning the language and the customs.  It’s all I can do to manage my own life let alone think about all that was involved with raising that many small children, not to mention learning a new country and language (which she did since she was in America I might add!).  Yes, I have a problem with people living here for years and never learning the language, Sorry.  But I digress…..

 

Shaping four little people’s minds and hearts is a tall order!  I learned quite a few things from my mother; Responsibility to family and friends, Appreciation for the beauty in nature, Unconditional love, Patience and Forgiveness.  All invaluable lessons for a successful life.

 

I would like to think that I have helped her realize a few things. Live in the moment and don’t worry so much…about everything!  Things will happen in their time and some things we do not have any control over.  Acceptance for what life brings.  We need to Trust in ourselves and what we want.  And lastly, It’s OK to toot your own horn every once in awhile….cause we are all fabulous!!!!!

 

Eventually it will be time for our roles to reverse.  The caretaking, responsibility and unconditional love she showed me returned with my adoration, respect and express thanks for a job well done.  Thanks Mom!   I love you, and be at peace knowing you have a Fabulous Daughter!!!!!

 

Tell your Mom you love her today.  And if she is no longer here, remember what she gave you.  LIFE, for one thing!

 

VCYoung   40sGoddess

 

Gifts for the Goddess – Loss

I am sitting at the Santa Monica Pier, the children are playing, teasing their friends and family and the adults seem to be relieved to have a weekday to spend withh family.  I wonder how many had lost a friend or family member and if it was as serealistic for them as it is for me.

Perspective changes.  I looked at the petty drama that sometimes happens at work or among friends, the the senseless gruges or lack of communication among family members, the worrying I go thru everyday about silly things that, when you really look at them, don’t really matter a whole hell of a lot. 

This day, The day after the world lost a sweet, spiritual soul and one of my dear friends…this day, the world goes on.  Life goes on….with all it’s drama, all it’s pain, all it’s joy, all it’s fantasy.  I can’t help but want to sell all my belongings, buy a big boat and sail the world or buy a small house on an island somewhere and escape the fantasy that has become my life.

Does it really matter that I was hurt by that person? Does it really matter XYZ?  Does it really matter that I don’t agree with family sometimes and this disagreement keeps us seperated?  Seperation keeps us from loving, from being.  Isn’t that what hell is? To be seperated from loved ones, friends, and the ultimate seperation that is human, seperation from Mother/Father God? At least feeling that way.  Numbness is not cutting it right now.  I’m just as into the whole concept of “we have to control what we feel” but dammit, I want to really “feel” this. 

Right now I feel blocked and numb with disbelief.  I do remember the joy, the love, the incredible strength and soul that she was, and I celebrate her life and all that she gave to me.  Could it be that my knowing that she is in the loving hands of the Mother/Father God and that she will always be with me is why.   I do feel her and I know she will always live on in my heart and in my joyous memories of her and  I will always remember.  We are seperated physically, but on the spiritual plane, we will always be connected.  It gives me great strength and peace knowing that…. 

Maybe that’s why I feel like I’m not feeling anything?  This peace of knowing overcomes the grief…and her energy is remembered with Love.  It’s forever…and that I DO feel. 

Blessed be, my dear sister.   I love you, I remember you…..and you made a difference. Till we meet again in the place where goddesses and gods dance.

VCYoung, 40sgoddess